PDF Talk to Me First Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids' ""GoTo"" Person about Sex Deborah Roffman 9780738215082 Books

Product details Paperback 296 pages Publisher Da Capo Lifelong Books; 64194th edition (July 31, 2012) Language English ISBN-10 9780738215082

Talk to Me First Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids' ""GoTo"" Person about Sex Deborah Roffman 9780738215082 Books Reviews

• I thought this was about how to have "the talk" with your kids but it turns out this is so much more. This is a parenting book with a reminder that good parenting doesn't go out the window when sex is involved. At first I was uncomfortable with some of what she was saying -- terminology, especially -- but, by the end, I was convinced that Deborah Roffman has good ideas and can help parents find a path forward in helping parents prepare kids for -- and defend them from -- today's over-sexualized world. Our pediatrician once gave us the lecture "Be the Parent" and it rings true, here. Even if this makes you squeamish, you owe it to your kids to break through and get over it. I loved this book and can't recommend it highly enough.
  
  Roffman is compelling in how she addresses "sex" questions from kids of all ages. She convinced me that "the talk" is only one part of a lifetime of preparing kids to inhabit, take care of, and respect their bodies. She points out how kids can misunderstand (or understand only too well if taken literally) the messages of modern culture -- that "sex" doesn't count if it's not intercourse; that "sex" is fun and recreational but not necessarily (or not at all!) tied to relationships and responsibility (think "friends w/ benefits"); that porn is bad not b/c it shows sex but b/c it shows sex as idealized (IRL nobody really looks like that or performs like that) and devoid of emotional meaning and attachment, not to mention it's so often violent, etc. I also thought she had great analogies that helped me break through the hesitation that talking about sex would encourage sexual behavior and activity sooner. You don't NOT teach your kid about cooking or driving or balancing the checkbook b/c you're worried your preschooler will take off with the mini-van or start writing checks!
  
  Some parts got long (a few too many times explaining what the Puritans really thought) and some might think she's preachy (one friend couldn't get over that) but I think everyone should read this and anyone who can get through the book will benefit and learn some really important lessons. I'm afraid of how little our kids are learning -- or what they're learning -- at school on these topics so parents need to understand and take hold of their kids education in this arena.
  
  Read this book first!
• Every family should have this book! It is all about how we communicate in ALL areas of conversation not just when it comes to sex! Deborah lays specific areas in communication that I need to lay out with my kids and I follow them and they WORK! I also find that they work in all my relationships...personal and business!
  Affirmation, Information, Clarification and Values, Boundaries and Limits, Guidance... I have them memorized, I practice and get the response that I would like to have... AMAZING!!!
• Even if it's too late, read this. You can finally look at how your parents/teachers/preachers botched your sex education, and how you survived. A thousand things that were never clear can be clear, even now while you are still alive.
• Excellent resource for how to 1. most importantly, be your kids go-to person for questions about sex, and 2. how to answer their questions in an age appropriate way. This was a life-saver when I found out my much-too-young 6-year old got exposed to hard-core pornography (she has no access at our house, it was at a friend's house whose parents thought they had secured [with nanny software] all electronics.) Although I wouldn't wish that on anyone, my daughter now talks to me about everything she hears about in school, so I have opportunities to convey my views and values on a regular basis.
• Very informative--a bit redundant at times but maybe necessary since the topic is so important. Definitely would reccommend!!!!
• Fabulous book. Love this author.
• I recommend it to all the parents! It answered a lot of my questions and taught me how to talk to my kids about sex.
• Way to wordy. I struggled to find useful content. Any useful advice was buried under trite platitudes.